Torn Apart
by Are We Human
Summary: Phoebe Buffay is alone, scared, and believeing her five friends and husband Mike Hannigan to be dead. But things change when someone comes to call. Will Phoebe beable to pull through? [A. Series 10]
1. candle in the wind

_xx Disclaimer xx_

_The hit TV-Series, "Friends" was born 22nd of September 1994 and died on the 31st of May 2004. For ten years, people all around the world took delight in settling down infront of their television screens every day to watch it on channel four, and even though It is long gone now, people still watch it's replays on 4 or E4. I love Friends so much, and I just want to make it plain that I'm not stealing, I'm just using the characters in this fan-fic. I think It's gonna be a series, we'll just have to see how it all goes. _

_I also want to make it plain that this fan-fic is one of Angst, so if you're not into that kind of thing don't go on reading, but don't leave upsetting reviews either. Anyway, I'd like to bring to light where the story is set, and when it is set, ect._

_It's about three years since the group split up and went their seperate ways, and just six months ago the gang and Phoebe's new husband (Mike Hannigan) are off for a holiday in Spain. So, the seven of them take off on a jet plane, that crashes about an hour after take off. Miraculously, Phoebe survives, but runs away in fear, thinking that the others are dead. Not in her right mind, Phoebe goes home and grieves, unable to believe this is happening. She thinks she's lost everything, but then she bumps into someone, and things start to kick off again. _

_Enjoy._

xx

The city of New York was just as It had been when she had left it, run down and lifeless. Nothing had changed, of course, It was all the same, day in and day out.

The people just walked right past her, staring at her as if she was some kind of psychopath, and moving on quicker so to get away. She didn't really care. She was used to it all now. It was nothing new to her.

Phoebe Buffay was sitting alone in the deserted park on a bench, staring at her knees, not looking up at passers-by. She wasn't crying, she didn't even have any more tears left to cry. Her eyes were cold and hard, and just as pale and lifeless as the city before her. Phoebe shifted slightly on her bench. It seemed like only yesterday that it had happened, that she had lost everything that meant something to her ...

Nothing meant anything to her anymore. All the people, walking down the streets, off to work or grab a coffee, she didn't even notice it all anymore. It was like some kind of monster had come and taken everything from her, like the monsters she'd always believed in since she was a little kid. But she didn't believe in all that anymore. It was all fake and unreal.

Phoebe's head tilted to one side, and she went into a sort of trance, staring into space, the world around her became a distant blur, she was away from it all ...

"Phoebe!"

Phoebe snapped out of her trance. She looked around, staring around wildly for whoever had suddenly called her name. But there was nothing there.

"Phoebe! Hey, Phoebe!"

And then she saw him. There he was. It was Mike.

He was standing there, waving, just waving, to her. To _her_. It was him, her husband. She loved him to infinity. She smiled and waved back at him, preparing to leap to her feet and rush into his arms, but she never got the chance. A car suddenly rushed past and then Mike was gone, nowhere to be seen.

Sighing, but not allowing herself to cry, Phoebe turned around and stared back at her knees. What was _wrong_ with her? He was gone, and he was never coming back. Standing up, Phoebe tried to compose herself as well as possible, but she knew that nothing she did could hide it. Her hand touched her face, touched the scars, cuts and scratches on her face. She was a mess, and damn hell she knew it. But It wasn't to be helped, the cuts and bruises would of course stay with her forever.

_Just like the pain_, Phoebe thought savagely, walking slowly out of the park and down the street. She passed the old coffee house she and her friends had used to hang out in when they had been young, stupid and immature. The place was now boarded up and dilapilated, just like the rest of the torn apart city. But that couldn't be helped, Phoebe couldn't be bothered to help, she just wanted to die painfully like the others had. She wiped the tears hastily from her eyes, not wanting to cry out there in the open.

But passing the coffee house made Phoebe remember.

xx

_"Hey everybody, this is Rachel Green, another highschool survivor! This is everybody, Rachel! Phoebe, Joey and- you remember my brother Ross?" _

_"Sure!"_

_Rachel ran to Ross, whose umbrella suddenly went up. Rachel sat next to Phoebe and Ross. Monica sat down in another armchair. Joey, meanwhile was sitting in another, grinning at all of them. _

_The place where it had all began._

_Their "one-of-a-kind" friendship. _

xx

Phoebe almost burst into tears.

_No_, she thought to herself, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks, _No! That's over, it was a long time ago ..._

But it wasn't over. The memories weren't, atleast. Phoebe thought about them every single day. Happy, happy memories. Not sad ones. Just happy ones. And then ...

Sad memories.

Phoebe remembered how it had all ended just six months ago.

xx

_"Oh, wow!"_

_"Spain, here we come!"_

_"Um, Phoebe?"_

_It was Mike. Phoebe stared at him in surprise, why did he want to talk to her? He wasn't having doubts, was he? They were married now, and they'd agreed to take the other five on their honeymoon. What was up?_

_"Listen Pheebs, I love you, and I'm- I'm really glad you're here with me." He stammered, holding onto Phoebe's hand._

_Phoebe smiled at him, "Me too Mike, I- I love you too, Mike, you know I do!"_

_"Guys? We should be there in an hour," _

_"Yeah, alright ..." Mike said to Monica, who smiled at them and left, "Listen, when the plane lands we'll be in Spain, and we'll have the best honeymoon ever, along with everyone else." _

_"Yeah, thanks Mike," Phoebe said, kissing him. _

_"Phoebe, I-"_

_But they were suddenly interrupted by Chandler. Phoebe and Mike turned to face him. _

_Chandler was wearing an expression like no other. It wasn't one of happiness, or one of joy, but one of sheer and utmost horror. The fear, the terror, it was all there in his eyes, every last bit of it._

_"Um, um, I- I don't know how to say this ..." He stammered. _

_"What?"_

_"Oh god, oh god, Oh god," _

_That was Monica. Then came Ross' voice._

_"WHAT THE-"_

_"RACHEL!"_

_"Oh jesus guys, this is bad!"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Phoebe ..."_

_The plane suddenly jolted and then Phoebe felt herself falling to her death, not even having the strength to cry out, just falling ... _

xx

She had survived, of course.

But the others ...

_The others ..._

They hadn't made it. She had seen their bodies, all limp and had seen not one sign of any of them breathing. She had been sorry to have lived through the accident, and how she longed to be with them. Her best friends, and the man she had loved ...

_Did love._

Phoebe entered her flat. It was stuffy, and she hadn't been paying rent for a while now. But at that moment in time, she didn't give a shit. It wasn't home, not in the least. But It was all she had.

Sinking into an armchair, Phoebe Buffay screamed into a cushion and then slowly cried herself to sleep, unaware that the events of next day would change her life forever.

xx

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Like it? The next chapter will be up shortly! Review pleaseee :D_

_xox Annur xox_


	2. better off dead

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Welcome to Part 2 of my first ever series fan-fic. If you read the first chapter, you'll know what's going on right now. I'm not going to tell you ... so just read on and find out for yourself. I don't know how many chapters there's going to be right now, but I'm sure that I'll be making atleast four or five. Stay tune!_

_Enjoy._

xx

Phoebe Buffay woke with a start the next morning. For a moment she was unbelieveably cheerfull, thinking that everything was alright again. That she was going to go round and see Monica and Chandler, and then meet up with Ross and Rachel and little Emma. Maybe she would even spot Joey over in the Coffee House.

But, of course, that wasn't to be. Phoebe suddenly remembered this and sank back into her chair, wondering whether she had already died painfully and gone to hell. Mumbling to herself and deciding not to go into work that morning, Phoebe got dressed, spooned cold beans from a tin into her mouth, and then left her appartment to go for a morning stroll in the park.

The park was the only place where Phoebe could clear her thoughts properly. Anywhere else was too noisy, too loud and well, the people were just too happy. It broke her heart to see them like that.

As usual, Phoebe sat down on her favourite bench, brushing a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. It was a cold, windy day, but what did it matter? There was never good weather anymore.

Phoebe was just deep in thought when a large hand clamped down on her shoulder.

"Phoebe?"

xx

_"Phoebe?"_

_Phoebe spun around. It was Monica Bing, one of her best friends, looking down at her and smiling. _

_"Everyones here," She told Phoebe softly, "They all had to come."_

_And then Rachel appeared at Monica's side, smiling widely. Then Joey, grinning broadly. Then Ross, smiling warmly. Then Chandler, and ..._

_"Phoebe, I love you," _

_It was Mike. He was smiling at her, his eyes twinkling. _

_"We love you, Pheebs," Monica said, still smiling, "We had to come back for you,"_

_"B-back for me?" Phoebe choked, unable to hide the happiness that was filling up inside of her._

_"Aha," Rachel said. Monica nodded._

_"Don't worry," Monica said softly, hugging Phoebe gently, "It'll all be over soon,"_

_"What will?" Phoebe said uncertainly._

_"The pain," Joey told her,_

_"Yeah, the pain'll all go away, Phoebe," Rachel cooed,_

_"We all love ya' Pheebs," Chandler told her,_

_"We'd give anything to have you with us," Ross said,_

_"And you're coming with us," Monica said softly, as the others closed in, "Don't worry ..."_

_"The pain'll all go away ..."_

_"No more pain ..."_

_And then they were closing in on her, holding her tight, whispering in her ear,_

_"Don't worry, Phoebe."_

xx

Phoebe looked up.

It was Ross.

Thinking she must just be having another flashback or something, Phoebe blinked and shook her head, and looked up again. There, Ross still stood standing there, glancing at her oddly. Then, he smiled.

"Pheebs ..." He muttered gently, making to touch her arm.

"R-Ross?" Phoebe gasped, "_Ross!_"

And she threw herself into his arms, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"How did you find me here?" She squeaked.

"I knew I'd find you here," He said.

Phoebe looked up at him. It was definately Ross.

But not the Ross she had once known, Phoebe thought to herself. He had so many scars and cuts and bruises it was unbelieveable. He had so many more then her. He looked rough and tired-looking. Phoebe felt so sorry for him, and the tears welled up in her eyes even more so.

"Listen Pheebs, I have to tell you something ..."

"Where are they?"

Ross stared back at her, and then she knew. They all couldn't have survived something like that. Ross Geller stared at her, and in that moment, Phoebe Buffay understood. The other four of her friends, and of course, her husband, were dead.

"I'm so sorry, Ross." She whispered to him.

And she truly was. Ross had not only the woman he loved, Rachel, but his only sister, Monica, and his beautiful daughter Emma.

"It's okay," Ross mumbled to her, "I- I don't mind so much now."

But Phoebe read it in his eyes, and it was obvious that he did mind alot.

"Listen Phoebe, we have to talk, and I have to show you something." Ross said softly. Phoebe nodded.

"What's that?" She asked.

"You'll soon find out," Ross replied, "Let's go,"

"Wait, Ross-" Phoebe grabbed his arm, "Th-Thank you," She whispered in his ear. Ross smiled at her.

"It's okay Pheebs, really, I- oh Pheebs, don't cry ..."

And Phoebe was indeed crying. She was crying harder then she ever had in her life. Ross Geller, one of her best friends, had survived, and come back for her. She was so happy right then it was untrue.

Phoebe smiled and wiped her eyes.

She didn't need to tell him how much it meant to her the fact that he was there.

xx

_xx Authors Note xx_

_To be continued! Next chapter shall be up shortly! _


	3. amazes me

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Getting better? I'm still trying to think about whats going to come next, but you'll find out soon enough!_

_Enjoy!_

xx

Chandler Bing was sitting alone in the now run down appartment he had once called home.

It was a miracle that he had survived. He had been in shock and had made a run for it, returning to the city but having isolated himself in the old appartment he and Monica had once lived in together.

_Monica_.

Monica Bing, his wife, the woman he had loved for so long, was now dead, having not survived the hurrendous crash that had taken place six months ago. So was Joey Tribbiani, Chandler's best friend, along with Ross Geller, and Phoebe Buffay, and her husband Mike Hannigan, and of course Rachel and Emma Geller.

Chandler himself hadn't gotten off easily. There was a huge scar on his chest, and many cuts and bruises. There was stubble on his chin, having not shaved for many days. He just didn't have the strength for anything. He was broken up into pieces and had no idea how he would rebuild his life without Monica, or any of his other friends for that matter.

_But no_, he thought to himself, _Monica wouldn't have wanted it to be this way_ ...

He would go out now. He would free himself from this isolation.

And he knew exactly where he would go.

Chandler sank back into his chair, head in his hands. He just couldn't believe this was happening to him.

xx

"Oh Ross, It's ... beautiful," Phoebe breathed,

She and Ross were standing infront of Monica Bing's grave. Phoebe couldn't begin to think about how much Ross had paid for the gravestone. It was the most beautiful thing Phoebe had ever seen in her life. It was large and marble, creme coloured, with a large cross. Inscribed on it were the words:

_In Loving Memory Of_

_Monica Geller Bing_

_Loving Wife Of_

_Chandler Muriel Bing_

_Loved And Never Forgotten_

"How much did you pay for this?" Phoebe asked, staring at Ross incredulously.

"A thousand dollars," Ross said quietly, "I payed for all of them," Ross gestured at the other gravestones, of Rachel Geller, Emma Geller, Joey Tribbiani, and ...

"Mike!"

"Um, yeah ..."

"Oh, Ross!"

Phoebe flung herself into his arms, breaking down completely. Mike's grave was more beautiful then the rest of them, also marble, and white. Ross told her he had been spending days and nights making it up to standards.

"Wait a second, where's Chandlers?"

Phoebe had only just noticed this and stared at Ross, who hesitated.

"They didn't find Chandler's body," He said sadly, putting a hand on Phoebe's shoulder, "I don't know what happened, it just, dissapeared ..." There was a brief silence before Ross whispered to her, "Wanna get a coffee?"

"Sure," Phoebe croaked, sighing and following him. She looked around the cold, deserted cemetery. She couldn't stay here any longer.

It was then that she bumped into someone while her attention had been wandering. Phoebe gasped, surprised.

"Oh, sorry ..." The man mumbled, getting to his feet, "I didn't mean to ..."

"It's okay, I-"

But then Phoebe saw his face under the hat he was wearing. And there was no mistaking him.

"Chandler?"

"Pheebs?"

Ross and Phoebe stared. It was definately him. He looked incredibly rough but, yes, it was Chandler.

"What the- how- I thought you were-"

"Dead?" Phoebe finished his sentence for him. Chandler said nothing, but then offered the two of them a small smile.

"Oh, the hell with it - _Chandler!_"

Phoebe threw herself into his arms, and the three of them held eachother for a moment, happy to be alive and together.


	4. baby i miss you

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Chapter 4 Of 'Torn Apart' Not much to say except,_

_Enjoy!_

xx

"Well, well I ..."

Chandler Bing was sitting having coffee in his old friend Ross Geller's appartment, along with Phoebe Buffay, another of his old friends. These two people, of whom Chandler had believed to be dead, were now sitting opposite him, just staring at him. There wasn't really much to say at the moment.

"Chandler, why didn't you come and find me?" Phoebe asked in an exasperated sort of way, staring at him. Chandler gulped.

"Well ... I don't know, I just assumed ..."

"It's alright Chandler, as long as we've got eachother now, things'll be fine." Ross assured him. There was an awkward silence, then Ross said, "You were going to see Monica?"

"Yeah, I was," Chandler said, offering a small smile, "Just needed to get away, you know ..."

"Yeah," Phoebe said sadly, nodding, "Monica's gravestone is _beautiful_,"

"I know," Chandler agreed with her, "But I wondered who had the money to make it as beautiful as it is ..."

"Ross did," Phoebe said brightly, nodding at Ross, who nodded.

"Ross, you don't know how much that means to me, man," Chandler said slowly, leaning forwards and patting Ross on the shoulder, "It makes me happy to see that- that she's being taken care of."

"Yeah, It does," Ross said. He smiled, "And the others aswell,"

Chandler was gobsmacked, "You paid for all of those gravestones?"

"Yup, I still had some money left over from before, so what else was I supposed to do?" Ross said.

"G-Guys," Phoebe croaked, "I- you- you don't know how much this means to me ..."

"Pheebs, It's great to see you two again, I can't believe ..."

"Group hug?"

The three of them hugged eachother tight again. Phoebe was close to tears again. Chandler understood how she felt, he too felt like crying.

"Listen, you guys can stay here, Phoebe ... I saw your appartment. Chandler, wanna stay here with us?" Ross asked. Chandler nodded.

"Um, If that's okay buddy ... the old place, it-it still haunts me, with Monica and everything, you know ..."

Phoebe beamed at them. Chandler beamed back. He could honestly say he hadn't felt this cheerful in a long time.

xx

_"Do you, Chandler Muriel Bing, take Monica Geller, to be your lawful wedded wife?"_

_"I do,"_

_Chandler and Monica were standing at the altar, about to be wed. Chandler looked around him. Everyone was beaming at him; Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Joey Tribbiani (standing with a group of pretty girls) Ross Geller, his mother and father, Monica's mother and father, all his family and friends, basically everyone he had ever known and ever loved ..._

_"I now pronnounce you, husband and wife," The priest said, beaming at the pair of them, "You may now, kiss the bride,"_

_Chandler didn't need telling twice. He leaned forwards and kissed Monica lightly on the lips. _

_Kissed his new wife._

_xx_

_Chandler then found himself walking into a huge room with Monica. It was beautiful, and there were alot of people. It was very quiet ..._

_The whole room suddenly errupted with cheers._

_Everyone was cheering for them, and Chandler shook hands with all his guests, and found himself in heaven. He looked back at Monica, and he could see it in her eyes. _

_Oh yes, Chandler Bing was in love._

xx

The real Chandler Bing then woke up.

It was three in the morning. Chandler sighed and brought a hand up to his forehead. So It had all been a dream ... but a good dream it had been all the same.

_I miss her._

He did miss her, oh yes. Without Monica, Chandler felt he didn't have anyone to really talk to, or connect with. Ross and Phoebe were now his best friends, and all he really had left. But they just weren't the same as Monica.

Joey Tribbiani had also been Chandler's closest friend next to Ross. Chandler sighed. He missed that guy so much, the two of them had had their lives sitting right in front of them, Joey and Monica, so why had it had to end up like this?

xx

_"Listen, all you've done since we arrived here is put Phoebe down, and what exactly has she done to you?"_

_"No, really Mike, It's okay ..."_

_"No It's not okay!"_

_Phoebe Buffay was standing behind Mike Hannigan, her boyfriend who she hadn't been with for very long. She was beginning to wonder if this was going to work out. It was obvious that Mike's parents hated her so. Phoebe didn't really care, she had been asked to just be herself, and that was what she was doing._

_"Mike! You could have gone with anyone, but ..."_

_"But I went with Phoebe!" Mike snarled at his mother. He suddenly turned to Phoebe and gripped both her hands in his, "And I love you."_

_The whole room fell silent. Phoebe stared at him, and then she realised. She did love him, it was possibly the first time she had ever loved anyone, and she knew that in her heart she loved Mike Hannigan._

_"I- I love you too," Phoebe said, smiling at him. Mike grinned and kissed her, and then turned to his parents._

_"Goodbye," He said coolly, and then took Phoebe's hand, leading her away._

_Oh yes, she loved him._

xx

Phoebe Buffay woke with a start, and burst into tears.

She had just been dreaming about the first time she had really fallen in love with Mike, when she had met his parents ...

_No. Don't think about it._

But she _had to_ think about it, what else was on her mind?

Choking back sobs, Phoebe lay back, and stared up at the ceiling, wishing, wondering ...

xx

_"How did things get so complicated?"_

_"I don't know ..."_

_Ross Geller was standing behind the sofa in Central Perk Coffee House. Rachel Green was sitting on the couch, staring into space. Ross glanced at her longinly. He didn't know how to tell her how much she meant to him ..._

_"I mean, didn't you think you'd just meet somebody, fall in love, and that'd be it!" Rachel said sadly. She sighed, "I never thought I'd be here ..." _

_Ross' hand had been next to her head, and so Rachel tilted her head slightly to the left and leaned on it, closing her eyes. Ross hesitated, "Me either ..." he croaked, then pulled up a stool and sat down._

_I love her, he thought to himself, I love her, and I will love her, always._

xx

Ross Geller woke up.

He sighed. The first time he had really connected with Rachel. He had loved her so much, and he still loved her. It was so unfair.

He wouldn't allow himself to cry, of course. Rachel wouldn't have wanted him too. Neither would Emma ...

Ross pictured his wife and child standing together, beaming at him. Then suddenly, the picture was gone, and Ross was lying in bed by himself, alone and not knowing what to do next.

xx

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Next chapter will be up soon, hope you enjoyed this one._


	5. breakdown blues

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Chapter 5, Enjoy._

xx

Phoebe was sitting alone in her no longer liveable appartment.

Ross and Chandler had gone out for a few hours, leaving her alone to look around her old appartment, wondering what to do. Two of her best friends in this world had just come back to her. Phoebe tried to think about her options. She could stay with them, and never be alone again. But, she needed to get a grip, be independant. She couldn't stay around here forever.

Sighing, Phoebe looked around helplessly for old items she had once treasured, anything that hadn't been affected by the damp of the place. And then she saw it. There in the corner, there it was.

Phoebe strode over to the corner of the room, where her old guitar was stationed behind the door. This guitar had been one of Phoebe's most treasured possessions ever, and now she had been reunited with it again.

Swaying on the spot for a moment, Phoebe suddenly had an idea. She picked up the old guitar, wiping off the cob-webs. And then, plucking the strings gently, she began to play.

xx

_Liberty X - Holding On For You_

_Sunshine fades to grey  
The second I'm away  
Minutes turn to hours   
Without you  
Time keeps marching on  
Now summers been and gone  
And I'm still here alone  
Still waiting  
I'm on my own   
A million miles away  
Temptation all around  
I won't be long  
So please be strong  
Cos I'm holding on for you_

Trust is all it takes  
But people make mistakes  
Cos we are only human  
Let's face it  
I struggle through the day  
Pretend that I'm okay  
I make believe that you're here  
Beside me

I'm on my own  
A million miles away  
Temptation all around  
I won't be long  
So please be strong  
Cos I'm holding on for you 

You are the only one that I truly believe in  
So don't ever think that I would ever deceive ya baby  
Without a doubt you are my rhyme and my reason  
And I won't let you down

I'm on my own  
A million miles away  
Temptation all around  
But I'll be strong  
Keep holding on  
Cos I'm holding on for you

xx

_xx Authors Note xx_

_I know it's a short chapter, but I felt this song kind of expressed the way Phoebe was feeling about how Mike was gone, so ... new chapter will be up soon._


	6. big man in a little suit

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Sixth chapter in the series. I've made up my mind and I'm going to do ten chapters at the most. Enjoy._

xx

"Wow, you found this?"

"Yeah, It was just stuffed up in the cupboard along with some of the other junk."

At that moment, the door opened and Phoebe strode through the door, landing into the seat next to Ross. Playing her guitar again for the first time in years had certainly made her feel surprisingly stronger though slightly light headed.

Chandler was on the floor, flicking through a thick red photo album, filled with different photograph's of the old gang's past. There were alot of photographs sprawled rather untidily around on the floor. Phoebe could see one of Monica and Chandler kissing at their wedding ... one of Joey, her and Ross drunk in Barbados ... even one of Rachel sitting in Joey and her's old appartment. Phoebe sighed. So many memories that she could never forget.

"Man ... this is, unbelieveable Ross," Chandler said slowly, picking up three photograph's at a time and staring at them, "Thanks,"

"No problem dude," Ross said lightly, grinning at him. He turned to Phoebe, "What's up Pheebs?"

"Oh ..." It had just occured to Phoebe, "Um, It's just ... I just thought, you know ... Monica wouldn't have liked all those photographs scattered allover the floor like that." She offered them both a small smile. Chandler, however, did not return it.

"So? Monica's not here anymore," He said simply, turning his attention back to the photographs. Phoebe suddenly felt uneasy.

"Yeah but, I was only saying Chandler, I'm sorry If I offended you or-"

"Well don't say it then!"

Phoebe stared at him. Chandler was now on his feet, staring at Phoebe wide-eyed as If she'd said something terrible. Phoebe clamped a hand over her mouth, and realised that she had indeed said something terrible that had offended Chandler deeply.

Not saying another word, Chandler grunted and turned on his heel, striding across the room and into his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Phoebe felt her eyes welling up with tears, and then Ross hugging her tight. She just didn't understand about the way people felt.

She noticed a photograph with a slight tear in it at her feet. Bending down to pick it up, Phoebe saw that it was one of Monica and Chandler, probably when they had been on their honeymoon. The happiness inside of her quickly drained away. Suddenly, Phoebe understood just how upset Chandler really was, and she really admired him for being so strong.

Phoebe stroked the photo, touching where the tear was, and trying to fix it again. The tear seemed to go through Monica and Chandler. Phoebe sighed sadly. It was like they were now torn apart.

"It's alright Pheebs," Ross whispered gently in her ear, "He'll get over it. He's just upset."

Phoebe marvelled about how strong Ross was about all of this, and pulled him closer into a hug, thankfull that she was no longer alone, but she had two of the best friends she could ever ask for, and that they would always be here for her.

xx

"Chandler?"

Phoebe opened the door to Chandler's room. He was sitting on the bed, his back to her. Phoebe heard his sobs and moved closer to him. Suddenly realising that she was there, Chandler leapt to his feet, at the same time hastily trying to hide his hands away.

"Chandler, I'm sorry about- what's on your hand?" Phoebe enquired, stepping forwards towards him. Chandler backed away from her.

"Don't- don't come any closer, Pheebs, please ..." He said breathlessly, trying to get away.

"Chandler!" Phoebe shook her head impatiently, "I'm not going to hurt you! What have you done to your- oh, Chandler."

Chandler had reluctantly held out his hand. He had cut both his wrists, probably out of depression. There was quite alot of blood on both his arms, she saw, as he rolled up his sleeves. Phoebe stared. She just couldn't believe it, Chandler of all people.

"Oh Chandler, _why did you do that?_" She whispered softly, glancing at him sadly and moving closer to examine his wrists. Chandler winced in pain as she touched his arm.

"You- you don't understand, Phoebe," He sobbed, "It's- it's too- It _hurts_, Phoebe,"

"I know, Chandler," Phoebe answered, "I lost Mike, remember? Look, we've got to get you to the emergency room-"

"No! I- I'll be okay ..." Chandler exclaimed, still sobbing.

"Chandler! You can't _kill_ yourself! I know I was hurtful before about Monica, but I swear it was an accident! And- and doing this will only weaken you even more and- Chandler, Monica's _gone_, okay? I don't want to say it but she _is_, and nothing you do will beable to bring her back!"

Chandler stared at her, speechless. Then he sank down onto the bed, his head in his hands. Phoebe sat down next to him and put her arm around him.

"I'm sorry Phoebe, I never realised ... look, I miss Monica, but what's the point in me living? What can I do?" He said helplessly, staring at her, his eyes filled with tears.

Phoebe sighed. She had never seen him look so upset. And she understood, of course. She had felt this way for a long time after Mike had died. But she was Phoebe, and she was strong. She had lived out on the streets, for christ's sake!

"Chandler, you are without a doubt, the most- the most respectable guy I have ever met, and I love you so much, you're just, you're just such a great friend," Phoebe told him, and she gripped his hands in hers, "Be strong Chandler, _be strong_. It'll all be over soon, all the pain, all the greiving. Just ... hold on."

Pulling him into a hug, Phoebe felt her own eyes filling with tears as Chandler sobbed into her shoulder. But she would beable to hold on.

She had to. They _all_ had to.


	7. dear god

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Before you read on, I just want to say thanks for reviews not just from this one but from all the stories I've published, so yeah, thanks alot._

_I've been asked if this'll have a happy ending and I'm not really sure, but I'll try and make it as happy as possible. It won't be exactly happy but it won't be sad either, sort of inbetween. Anyway, enjoy._

xx

Chandler hadn't slept all night.

Phoebe had stayed with him for as long as it took, he had still been in shock from what had happened when they had returned from the hospital. Ross hadn't been able to say much and had gone to bed after comforting her. Phoebe just didn't know what to do. And she had thought it was _her _who had been affected the most by this ... Chandler didn't seem to understand about how much he was putting himself at risk.

It had been so painful to watch him crying, and at times she had joined in, gently rocking him as the two of them sobbed into eachother's shoulders. Ross was hurting too, but it didn't seem to show as much.

"What exactly happened, Pheebs?" Ross had asked her in exasperation once Chandler had fallen into a restless sleep.

Phoebe shook her head. "I can't tell you Ross." She said quietly, staring at her knees.

"Look, we're all in this together, so-" Ross was beginning to get angry. Phoebe could see it from his expression, his eyes flashing dangerously. But then he softened, and sank back into his chair, his head in his hands. "Oh god Phoebe, I can't argue about this right now ..."

"I know you miss them too, Ross," Phoebe whispered to him, "Don't be afraid to let out your feelings and emotions."

"I- I just miss her so much," Ross croaked, "I loved her so much. You wouldn't believe how much, Phoebe," He paused and took a deep breath, blinking back the tears that were forming in his eyes, "And little Emma, oh god Pheebs- what do I do without them? And without _Monica_ aswell?"

"You've got us," Phoebe said simply, staring at him. Ross turned to her.

"Yeah, I guess I do ..." He said sadly, "You're all I've got now, Pheebs. You and Chandler. I might still have a job but god ..."

"I'll help you get through this Ross, you and Chandler obviously need my support right now." Phoebe assured him, patting him on the back and smiling. Ross gave a small half-hearted laugh.

"You're strong, Phoebe," He said seriously, gazing at her, "How the hell do you manage to be so strong? What is it about you ... I just don't get it ..."

"I don't think you ever will, Ross," Phoebe said lightly, "But It's okay, I don't really get myself either, not now ..."

"Yeah," Ross agreed with her, "Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed. Night, Pheebs, and thank's."

"No problem," Phoebe said, "Night Ross."

Offering her one last smile, Ross departed from the room and went off to bed. Phoebe sat by herself for moment, deep in thought, before following suit.

xx

The next day dawned too quickly for Phoebe's liking. She had been dreaming that she and Mike had been riding a snow white unicorn, and they had rode allover New York City, allover America ...

She had then come crashing down back to reality with a bump, banging her head on the bed-post. Looking up, Phoebe saw that Ross was standing at the other end of her bed with a breakfast tray. He beamed.

"Morning Pheebs!" Ross said cheerfully, setting down the tray on the table, "I made you some breakfast," He added, indicating the tray, "So, how did you sleep?"

"I slept okay," Phoebe said groggily, rubbing the back of her head, "Untill you came in and messed up my dreams ..."

Ross' face fell, "Oh Phoebe, I'm so sorry," He said sadly, gazing at her, "What were you dreaming about?"

"Oh, just that Mike and I were riding a huge white unicorn and that it was taking us allover America and that everything was alright again," Phoebe told him, not a trace of emotion in her voice, still massaging her throbbing head.

"Well ... I've got to go to work now, maybe, If you feel like it, you should try getting back to work?" Ross enquired. Phoebe stared at him.

"I still have a _job_?" She murmered, gaping at him.

"Aha!" Ross said lightly, "Your office called me this morning and they're wondering when you're coming back in. Maybe you should call them up?" He added. Then he hesitated before saying, "Um, I've gotta get going Pheebs, look after Chandler today won't you?" He winked at her and departed.

Phoebe found this all hard to believe. She still had her massaging job? Well ... she could atleast give it a shot, she would need something to do all day. But then, what about Chandler?

Quickly shovelling large ammounts of egg and bacon into her mouth, Phoebe went off to his room to see how he was. Last night, Chandler had been having a nervous breakdown, cutting his wrists, and all sorts. Phoebe winced, would he have done it again? She couldn't lose him. Not now. Not ever.

"Hey, Chandler ..." Phoebe said, opening the door to his room. Chandler was fully dressed, staring transfixed at the mirror. There were bags under his eyes and he was very pale. The scars on his wrists still showed.

At that moment he turned around, "Oh ... hey, Phoebe."

"Listen Chandler, what do you want to do today? I've got the day off but tommorow I'll be going back to my job," Phoebe told him.

"You still have a job?" Chandler muttered, walking past her into the lounge, "Lucky ..." Phoebe heard him murmer.

"Yeah, well, we've all gotta make some money around here, Chandler," She said lightly, sitting down beside him, "Anyway, that's not the point. How are you doing after yesterday?"

Chandler shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, Pheebs," He said in despair. Phoebe sighed and put her arm around him.

"Listen, If there's anything you need today, anything atall, I'll get it for you," She assured him. Chandler smiled at her.

"Thank's Pheebs, It's still good to know somebody as good as you still care's about me," He mumbled, "Even If I don't matter much anyway ..."

"You matter just as much as anyone else," Phoebe said firmly, "So ... I was thinking of going to see the guys' graves. Wanna come with me?" She added in an almost inaudible tone of voice.

Chandler hesitated at first. Hoping she hadn't said something she would regret saying later, Phoebe muttered to him, "Um, you don't have to Chandler, If you don't want to ..."

"I want to go with you," Chandler said firmly, staring at her.

"Oh ... well, alright. We'll need to get some flowers. D'you remember what kind of flower's they all like?" Phoebe asked him. Chandler shrugged.

"Well ... I know Monica liked red roses. And Rachel liked lillies. Um, Joey ..." Chandler chuckled, "Well, just get Joey anything. And just get Emma the same as Rachel."

Phoebe laughed, "Okay then! Let's go."

As they left, Phoebe couldn't help but wonder if she had raised Chandler's spirits, just slightly.


	8. give peace a chance

_xx Authors Note xx_

_This will be one of the last chapters. Review xox_

xx

The cemetery that day was very quiet, and the day was sunny and warm. As Chandler and Phoebe walked past the hundred's of grave stones, Phoebe watched Chandler out of the corner of her eye. There was something in his eyes, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Fear, perhaps? But fear of what?

The two of them came to an abrupt halt at Monica's grave. Chandler stood rooted to the spot, swaying ever so slightly, his eyes fixed on it. Then he fell to his knees, gazing at it lovingly, and began to plant the roses in the soil. Phoebe watched him, feeling slightly concerned.

When Chandler had finished, he stared at the gravestone for a long while, before turning to Phoebe. "She loved red roses, you know. " He said quietly, looking back at the grave.

Phoebe stared, "Really?"

"Yeah."

Phoebe smiled, "Well, I think It's really sweet that you bought the most extra-expensive red rose's for her," She said, nodding. Chandler grinned.

"Well, she only deserve's the best." He said, nodding with her, "Anyway, what else is there to spend money on? Nothing's more important to me anymore."

"Yeah ..." Phoebe began to walk towards Mike's grave. She smiled. She hadn't brought him any flowers, as she had known Mike wouldn't like that sort of thing. She had only brought herself, and wondered if that would please him. Bending down, Phoebe began to pray, in her head.

xx

_Mike,_

_Hey ... how're you doing up there? I hope he's treating you right. I really want to be there with you, Mike, but ... Oh, let's can the sweet talk. Mike, I miss you so, so much. I want to be with you forever, but I guess I can't, which is a pity, because well, okay, this is sounding stupid but ... but but but! I don't really know what to say ... but anyway, just listen to me. _

_I love you, more then words could ever describe. So, just tell me you're okay. You can tell me in my dreams, or anything! Just, give me a sign, contact me, I love you ..._

xx

"Pheebs?"

"Huh?"

Phoebe turned around. Chandler was standing over her, looking as perplexed as she felt.

"You've been sitting infront of Mike's grave for a half hour now. Maybe it's time we left?" He proposed.

"Um, um, maybe we should stay here a while." Phoebe answered.

Chandler raised an eyebrow, "What? But we've been here for over an hour now!"

"I thought _you_ would have liked to see your wife!" Phoebe snapped, turning her back on him. She instantly regretted it and turned around, but Chandler wasn't there. She spotted him running away down the path, nearing the exit.

"Chandler!" Phoebe yelled after him, "I didn't _mean _it, Chandler! _Chandler!" _

But Chandler was already long gone. Feeling increasingly worried, Phoebe hurried off after him, hoping for the love of god that he hadn't decided to turn to the blade yet again because of what she'd done to him.


	9. healing hands

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Thanks for all the reviews! Remember, "Friends" is thee best television programme in the history of the world! And Monica Bing cannot do Bob Marley impressions!_

xx

Phoebe was walking through the city. She passed so many places she had once loved to hang out at, or that she had passed many years ago. Now, most of them were boarded up and alot of them were closed.

Phoebe sighed and wondered if she had been a little too hard on Chandler. After all, she had promised that she wouldn't take stuff out at him and told him that he meant everything to her. Ha, some friend she was.

She felt sickened with herself. Yeah, what a _great_ friend she was. She couldn't even resist the temptation to snap at someone just for once. It drove her crazy.

Her cell phone rang. Phoebe answered it, and it turned out to be Ross on the other end.

"Pheebs ... listen to me, just- Chandler's run away." He breathed down the phone, clearly in a state of shock.

Phoebe's eyes widened, "_What_? Oh my god! Ross! You mean- he just- ran _away?"_

"Yeah," Ross said quickly, "Look Phoebe, we've got to find him! He could do anything out there alone!"

"I'm on it!" Phoebe said,

"No wait, Pheebs, let's look together," Ross said, "I'll meet you outside of Central Perk, okay?"

"Sure," Phoebe said quickly, hanging up and dashing off to meet Ross.

xx

"Phoebe! Hey, Pheebs!"

Phoebe spun around. Ross was running towards her, he stopped infront of her, gasping for breath.

"Listen, I don't know where the hell he's gone, but- I've got a few places in mind," He told her, "Let's check your appartment first, he could have gone there ..."

"Um, no," Phoebe said at once.

Ross stared at her. "No?"

"No."

Ross continued to stare at her, "But Phoebe ... why?" He said exasperatedly.

Phoebe shook her head, "Just _no."_

Ross sighed, "You haven't said anything else to him, have you? Nothing's happened, has it?" He asked anxiously, peering at Phoebe. Phoebe shook her head, but obviously Ross could see it in her eyes.

"N-no ... well, okay! Fine! We sort of- well, I snapped at him in the cemetery and he ran off ... I thought he'd just go back to your place ..."

"Pheebs!" Ross said, glaring at her and sighing as if it was all her fault, "Look, we've got to find him. Anything could happen!"

"I know, I know!" Phoebe said breathlessly, running her finger's through her long blonde hair, "Listen Ross, we'll split up and have a look for him. Call me if you find him!"

Ross nodded and immidiately sped off in the other direction without another word. Phoebe stared after him for another few moments before turning around and running off to find Chandler.

xx

Phoebe reached the cemetery in a matter of seconds. She searched every part of it, looking around for him, but Chandler wasn't anywhere to be seen. Finally, Phoebe got so worked up that she began to cry. She felt herself sink down to the floor, blackened tears from her smudging eyeliner spilling down her cheeks. A man nearby spotted her and stared at her with concern for a moment before shuffling towards her and bending down.

"What's wrong, honey? Are you lost?" He whispered. Phoebe looked up at him. He had sounded quite paedophellic but when she looked at him he didn't look that way atall.

"N-no I'm- I'm just looking for s-someone ..." Phoebe said weakly, trying to dry her eyes, "Say, you haven't seen a guy with dark brown hair, looks kind of shifty, might have caused himself bodily harm, have you?"

The man glanced at her doubtfully but then he brightened, "Yes! Come to think of it, I _did_ see a rather frightened looking young man running through here just a while ago," He paused and glanced at her, "Your boyfriend, by any chance?"

"No," Phoebe said indignantly, forcing herself out of the man's grip, "Anyway, thanks ..."

As she walked away, Phoebe suddenly realised why Chandler had ran through the cemtery. He had been taking a short cut to somewhere ... she could remember it, it was there, but where ...

And then it hit her.

Phoebe Buffay broke into a run.

xx

There was only one place Chandler could be.

Phoebe just prayed that he would be there, as she climbed the stairs up to Monica and Chandler's old appartment. She had been so stupid, so foolish not to realise this. And what was more, she had really hurt Chandler, and she desperately wanted to make up with him before he did something he would regret. Quickening her pace, Phoebe finally reached the top of the stairs and made a bolt for the appartment.

xx

Chandler Bing sat in the old armchair, holding up the blade with his left hand, staring at his reflection in it. What he should have seen was a handsome young man, with a pretty girl named Monica, his wife, sitting next to him. Then maybe there would be a couple of kid's in the background. But Chandler saw when he looked at the reflection was himself, a broken man, tired and alone.

Chandler was sick of it. Phoebe had _promised _him. And now she had gone and done it again. Couldn't she understand how he was feeling? Monica had meant the world to him, and what had she done? Well, it didn't matter about what she had done anymore, Chandler couldn't even remember. He grasped the blade tighter and, gasping for breath, prepared to plunge it deep into his wrist.

xx

Phoebe hoped she would get there in time. Her high-heeled shoes didn't exactly help matters, and she must have fallen over a dozen times. Finally, she reached the door, and burst into the appartment shrieking, "_Chandler! Chandler! I never meant it! Chandler!"_

Pulling herself together and breathing heavily, Phoebe looked around and saw Chandler, sitting by himself on the other side of the room, his mouth hanging open. In his left hand was a silver blade. Phoebe bolted for him and yanked it out of his hand.

"Hey!" Chandler exclaimed, reaching out and trying to grab it off her.

"Chandler! What were you _thinking?_" Phoebe said, torn between exasperation at the fact that Chandler hadn't yet learned his lesson from before, and relief at the fact that she had gotten there in time.

Chandler sighed and hung his head. Phoebe stared at him for a moment before pulling him into a tight hug, holding him.

"I'm useless," Chandler sobbed, "I was blind Phoebe, I'm sorry, I just lost it again, I never meant it-"

"It's okay Chandler! But listen, you gave Ross and I quite a scare! Ross is out looking for you right now," Phoebe explained, patting him on the shoulder. Then she leaned in closer, kissing him on the cheek and whispering in his ear, "Don't let it all get to you, Chandler. You're stronger than that, so just don't."

Chandler didn't say anything after that. Neither did Phoebe. Neither of them needed to, because in their eyes it was all there, everything that they were feeling right there and then. Both Phoebe and Chandler let it all out, crying and holding eachother.

"I'm useless Pheebs, I'm a complete idiot to everyone ... so what exactly am I to you?" Chandler asked after a long while, staring at her.

"Only the best friend I've ever had," Phoebe answered, looking into his eyes and smiling.


	10. friends never say goodbye

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Reviewwww is all I can say!_

xx

It was a beautiful day as Phoebe Buffay, Ross Geller and Chandler Bing stepped out into the morning sunshine. The sun beated down on them, warming them up, as they crossed the road and turned off down the street.

It was Phoebe and Chandler's first day back at work, and for the first time in a very long time, Phoebe was feeling great. She wanted to scream it to the world, she just wanted to do something, anything, to express the way she was feeling right then. It was unbelieveable, she could really feel it.

"So, when'll I see you?" Ross was asking Chandler. He shrugged.

"I don't know, I'll call you, okay?" Chandler said, nodding to him and looking over to Phoebe, "Nervous, Pheebs?" He asked.

"Oh, no!" Phoebe said lightly, shaking her head and laughing, her beautiful blonde hair blowing about slightly in the wind, "It'll be great to get back at work, make some money ... maybe I'll beable to move out soon?"

"Are you kidding? I love you guys over there!" Ross exclaimed, laughing with the two of them, "It's great to have someone to talk to after all this ..."

"Well, If you ever need to talk Ross, we're both here," Phoebe assured him, patting him on the shoulder and then turning back to Chandler, "So, how are you, Mr.Bing?"

"Very well thanks Miss.Buffay," Chandler replied, grinning.

"Looking forward to today?" Phoebe asked, smiling at him and looking around absent mindly as the three of them carried on down the street.

"No way! Should be great," Chandler said lightly, "What about you?"

"Well, I already said didn't I? It'll be really great to get back to work," Phoebe answered him, "Anyway, we're here now, I'll see you guys later!"

"Sure thing Pheebs!" Ross called after her. Chandler suddenly murmered something to him and ran back over to Phoebe.

"Hey Pheebs ... listen, I just wanna say thanks, for everything. You really made me strong," He said, smiling at her. Phoebe blushed.

"Well! Thanks alot, Chandler! Anyway, you were strong from the start, you just never realised it," She said, laughing, "Anyway, go on, go after Ross! And I'll see you later, okay?"

"Sure," Chandler said, turning away from her and hurrying after Ross. But he turned around at the last minute and called, "G'bye, Phoebe,"

"Bye, Chandler!" Phoebe called, smiling and waving at him. She made to go into her work building, but stopped suddenly. She could feel something, or someone, there.

xx

_The air had suddenly gone cold. Everything was cold. But then, as If by magic, it was warm again, and Phoebe saw familiar faces gathering round her, hugging her tight. Phoebe looked around her and saw Monica Bing, Joey Tribbiani, Rachel Green, Emma Green, and Mike Hannigan. The five of them were beaming at her. Monica stepped forwards._

_"Hey Phoebe," She said casually, as If they were meeting in Central Perk again, "How are you?"_

_"I'm- I can't complain," Phoebe stammered, glancing at her, "You?"_

_"Well ... we came to sort of, sort of tell you something ..." Monica said lowly, turning to Rachel, who at that moment stepped forwards._

_"We can't let you come with us, Phoebe," She said sadly. Phoebe stared at her._

_"Why not?" _

_"Because you're with the living and that's where you should stay," Joey told her, "You've gotta hold on, Pheebs, and Ross and Chandler need you now, more then ever," _

_"I know," Phoebe said, sighing, "And I promise that I'll look after them always."_

_"Phoebe?"_

_Monica had stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You- you c-couldn't tell Chandler that I- that I miss him and, and that he deserves to live and love again, could you?"_

_Phoebe nodded, "I can do that," She vowed._

_"And me too Pheebs," Rachel piped up, "Tell Ross I love him and that, he should beable to find love again too."_

_"I will," Phoebe said, getting tearful._

_Monica reached out and hugged her tightly, "We'll miss you so much Pheebs," She gently whispered in her ear, "All of us, especially ..." She let go of Phoebe and the others shuffled back to let Mike through. Phoebe stared at him. He was beautiful. He was everything she had ever hoped for, and she had let him slip through her fingers. But now she understood everything. Phoebe sighed. She had to let him go now._

_"Phoebe, I'm sorry but- this is probably the last time you'll hear from me," He said softly, putting his arms around her, "I heard your prayer, and I loved it," He added, grinning._

_Phoebe was startled, "You heard it?" She croaked._

_"I sure did," Mike said, smiling, "And I loved it. But, you need to find someone else Phoebe, don't mope around so much, I know we had just been married but you've got to hold on and get on with your life. Mine's over, and so is Monica's, and Rachel's and Joey's, and god help us all, little Emma's. But just get through it, and we'll all be really happy for you."_

_"Really?" Phoebe choked, holding on to him._

_Mike grinned, "Really."_

_Phoebe smiled and reached in to kiss him. His lips felt so soft, she wished she could hold onto him forever and always, but there had been truth in what he had said. She had to get on with her life now._

_"Oh, and take care of the boys will you?" Mike added, and he grinned broadly, "Monica tells me they're a handfull,"_

_"Oh, she's not wrong there," Phoebe agreed, laughing, "Listen Mike, I love you and, I'll miss you."_

_"I love you too Phoebe. And I'll miss you," He smiled, "Hold on, okay?" _

_"I will," Phoebe said. She turned to the others and hugged each of them in turn, "Bye guys, I'll miss you all so much."_

_"We will too Pheebs," Joey said, "Just hold on, okay? You're a good girl, I know you can."_

_"The hell I can!" Phoebe agreed, laughing, "And I will."_

_"Bye Pheebs," Monica said, smiling. Then they were going, and going, and almost gone ..._

_"Don't forget me!" Phoebe screamed after them._

_"We won't!" She heard Monica call. _

_And then she was back._

xx

Phoebe stared around her. There was no Mike, no Monica, no nothing. They were all gone forever.

But atleast she had had the chance to say goodbye, Phoebe thought to herself, And kiss Mike one last time ...

Taking a deep breath, Phoebe walked into the building. As she strode into the reception area, her boss, who had been there talking to the receptionist, saw her and exclaimed, "Phoebe! You're back!"

Phoebe Buffay grinned. She was definately back.

xx

_xx Authors Note xx_

_Thanks for all the reviews, but I'm afraid this is the end of 'Torn Apart'. I'll appreciate any other reviews and just so you know, nothing was going on between Phoebe and Chandler. Thanks so much, Love you all! xox_


	11. authors note

_I've decided not to continue Torn Apart II for the moment. Why? Because I just can't think of a story line for now, and also I've found that Phoebe and Chandler 'together' isn't all that great. I'm sorry for people who wanted to read the second one but I really don't have the time. I hope you'll read this one and enjoy it, though._

_I might start Torn Apart II in the future but for now I'm concentrating on one series at a time, so sorry about that. xo Anna_


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